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Woodland Bear's Sherwood Forest HollowI'll be the corpse in your bathtub... May 24 A Song For Buddha's Birthday (May 24th, 2007)Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Your belief system is empty And you're full of crap too. I think I did alright to avoid the fat jokes, no? Woodland Bear. May 21 I'm getting old...I seriously have worries about my ageing now - I just stretched and clicked about eight times. Other than that, not much news. This whole blog thing seems to be circling the drain, but I'm keeping the tap on for now, so to speak, hoping they'll still be something left should anything ever return. Maybe I'll be famous someday and they'll track this down and be really unimpressed. Do I care? No. I like writing, it keeps me contented. Talking of that, I'm working on an article at the moment for Nottingham's student uni magazine - interviewing a band called The Ponys. Haven't heard of them? Neither had I, but they're quite good, it turns out, and I got to go see them live for free last night. It's only a small band in what appears to be a small magazine, but bear in mind recent interviews have included Get Cape Wear Cape Fly and none other than Arcade-bleeding-Fire! I love Arcade Fire like a puppy loves its love. Got a busy summer lined up, so hopefully you won't see me so much that you get tired of me. That said, for some, one day with me will do that. Meh, I'm tired of them too. Either way - I'm home around 14th June. Off around 19th June for Glasto. Home again 22nd, 23rd, or something. Off to Ireland on the 29th, and back on the 14th July. Maybe off to Paris from the 18th to the 20th. Then around til early August, when I'll be running back up to Nottingham. So, if you want to hang out with me, I am around: June 14th-18th June 23rd/24th-28th July 15th-17th July 21st-August 4th/5th (Maybe even as late as the 7th if I'm lucky, but I plan on spending a week doing the kids stuff with Hanini, if the invite still stands.) Woodland Out. May 13 Contesting the EurovisionI'd love to enjoy the Eurovision for its music, and the close competition, and not just the fact that Terry Wogan is a minor deity whenever a transvestite walks on stage and he demonstrates both lightning wit and old man cynicism at once. But that's all we've got, really, isn't it? Good music? Not since Abba, as far as I'm concerned. Well, at least not winning. Estonia had a fantastic entry in 2003, '80s Coming Back'. It's still on my mp3 player four years later. 21st, overall, apparently. I don't think the Europeans can handle good music. That said, we had Scooch this year, and we voted them in. I'm seriously considering starting one of those petitions you can make on the government's website asking for Robbie Williams or Elton John to be forced to perform next year. That, or Chico, who knowing the state of England's pop scene today is a far more likely candidate. Oh dear. Woodland Bear. May 11 King Of All EssaysYeah, so, it turns out I'm kind of awesome. Yesterday - me, my laptop and six or seven books on various aspects of the Middle East, Islam and women within the context of both. One essay, three thousand words, due in about 7 hours after I started it. I kicked it's ass like a stern donkey father kicks his son. I wrote it, inbetween lunch, going to get a newspaper, and various website visits, in four hours. At my peak I wrote over 1000 words in one hour. That's admittedly only 16/17 words a minute, but I was never Mavis Beacon's biggest fan. Still, in essay context that's mildly impressive - and a good sign for my dissertation come year three. I reckon if I bring up my words per minute to twenty, I could knock that thing out in a day or so! Still, best not get cocky, ay? I don't know what mark I got yet... Woodland Bear. May 09 A Busy Weekend DefinedWith two family birthdays, one of which an 18th, I headed home this weekend. Twas an interesting time. On my first train down I sat opposite an incredibly eccentric Lutheran monk from Florida, and had a little chat. He suggested I become a monk. I politely declined. He continued to say 'Maybe someday though...' I spent most of the rest of the journey catching up with my mp3 player, whom I have been ignoring for a while now. I only ever use the shuffle function on long journeys - if I skip more than two in every ten tracks then I know I just have music for the sake of having music, and not for the love of it. How sad is that? Had dinner out on the Saturday for my mum's birthday. We went to a pub and ended up sitting outside, slowly succumbing to frostbite. Still, I got to hear my parent's stories about their recent trip to Amsterdam - my dad was flashed by lesbians, they went during a party weekend and were pretty much the only people over 30 there, and they smelt more cannibis than someone who smells a lot of cannabis. Sunday was a family gathering for my sister's 18th. It's not often I see both sets of grandparents in the same room at once, and it's always fun to see how awkward they find it. I don't know why, in many ways they're quite similar. All four of them are old. That's a similarity. They all like various foods I wouldn't touch with a barge pole, and they all look slightly like prunes. Not the wrinkly bit. They're just all a deep shade of purple. For Claire's actual birthday we took her to meet two of McFly in HMV Canterbury. She did, and she emerged with Becky both looked like eight year-olds who had just met, well, two of McFly. Harry and Danny, since you ask. I saw them, through a window, and pitied both. Having to meet 500 overly excited girls that early in the morning can not be fun. All of them were far too young to be hot, too. In the evening she went to see Wicked! with some friends in a crowd that was probably almost entirely middle-aged gay men. Now I'm back in Nottingham (again), trying (but failing) to start a three thousand word essay due tomorrow. Last night I watched Casino Royale with some friends, and drank a couple of glasses of what I reckon is 13% alcohol cider. Seriously, it was like apple wine. Twas nice. Woodland Bear. May 04 Coming Around AgainI've had a rather busy week, for me. Had an essay due which I did relatively slowly including preperation, but wrote in record time. I increased my words per hour from 500 to 800, and spent far too long celebrating that. And tomorrow I'm heading home for my mum and sister's birthdays! How exciting! Woodland Bear. April 24 A Poem About The BumblebeeSorry Mr. Bumblebee I haven't got no monies With which I can pay you For you effervescent honeys Don't worry Mr. Bumblebee All hope is not lost Maybe I could set you up With my mate Missy Wasp. Woodland Bear. April 21 England's ShedI was just, and indeed still am, online and noticed that in our so-called 'Computer Room' (or 'study' to you educated folk) there is a travel brochure for Northumbria. Now, without worrying too much why there is a brochure for England's dodgiest pot house in my home, one thing did strike me about said brochure. It's tagline simply described Northumbria as 'England's North East'. I've gotta say, that's hardly the most inspiring description of a county. It's true, yes. But I'm not suddenly in awe of this hotspot of British tourism.
I suppose the best role is taken - Kent is 'England's Garden'. Northumbria can't claim to be 'England's Concreted-Over Backyard' either, surely Birmingham gets that honour? 'England's Living Room' must be Sussex and 'England's Attic' goes to Cumbria, by my books. What about some of the less delightful or imaginative roles? 'England's Toilet' - must go to Merseyside. 'England's Potting Shed'? Certainly a role for Devon. Cornwall has to be 'England's Conservatory' and 'England's Sewage Tank-Buried-Under-The-Backyard' must be Yorkshire. Maybe. Thing is, this doesn't leave much for Northumbria - a place that's not utterly shite, to use their own language, just lacking in anything of interest. So, I suppose 'England's North East' is all they've got. Accurate, though.
Woodland Bear. April 15 Bleugh.Something tells me I have incorrectly spelt 'bleugh'. Which frustrates me, for I take great pleasure in correct spelling. Tis true. I will, as many have found out before, kick the face in of anyone who spells two words as one. It's not alot, you bungling troglodyte, it is 'a lot'. Grr. Things like that stress me out. That said, I've been sofa-stricken these last few days (it's like bed-stricken, but with Sky+) by some icky virus, and so have found everything frustrating. I'm like that when I'm ill - I find even the smallest things unforgivably annoying. Adverts, for instance. There is no way of expressing just how pissed off I will be if I have to listen one more time to Promiscuous Black Woman slurring out Boom-Chicka-Wah-Wah whilst inexcusably thrusting her hips at Innocent Fruit Stocker. Or if I have to watch Painfully Crap Hugh Grant Desperado call his answerphone and reveal a deep-set hatred for his In-Laws. I have to mute both of those adverts, lest I force my hand into the faces of the actors involved. I'm not saying they don't deserve a punch, I'm just saying I'd be so excitably willing to do it I'd end up doing it right there in the living room, resulting in numerous pieces of glass in my hands and two parents wondering why I smashed in a perfectly good tv. "Because I'm ill." I would say. And I am. It's a perfectly valid excuse for all number of rage-based crimes, I reckon.
Woodland Bear. April 09 Maybe I Should Get Out The House A Bit More Now...Hard to believe, but I've been writing here for two years now. Whether this means today is the Forest Hollow's birthday or anniversary I'm not sure, but I know it's a worrying thing that I've actually had something to say for the last 730 days. Not necessarily surprising, but worrrying nonetheless. Two years down the line and I've done okay for myself: I've been to more gigs than I can shake a large stick at (though I don't condone ever waving large sticks at gigs, they tend to be rather crowded places), holidayed in some great places and goe out into the (higher education) world to make a name for myself. I chose to keep it as Stephen. So yeah, I'm older, my MSN Space is older but such is life, and I wouldn't change a thing. So here's to:
'Two More Years' by Bloc Party. Woodland Bear - 50,132 views so far... |
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